Me, is the title :)

They say that I’m always brightly smiling They say that I don’t know such a thing as pain But my heart is crying Oh but I say in my brightly smiling heart I’m covered by a dark shadow I hate myself for being like that but my sad heart will smile some day The after hours of nighttime that always comes is my companion It comes to me in case I get lonely from being alone When the sun sets, tears well up without reason Suddenly thinking of how I got dumped by a past lover How I held back tears as I looked at the night sky How I swallowed my tears, not being able to cry, like a fool The after hours of nighttime that always comes is my companion It comes to me in case I get lonely from being alone The after hours of nighttime that always comes is my companion It comes when I cry in case I get lonely This place without you has stopped in time Don’t go too far away, stay where you are Please wait for me, stay where you are I’m going crazy, being alone here during the wee hours of nig...

tingginya bulan hendak dicapai tiada daya hanya mampu ku luahkan shj oh indahnya bulan ku teruja ku terpesona dgn keindahannya tapi apakan daya tangan ini tidak mampu mencapainya jauh ia tersangatlah jauh indah ia tersangatlah indah tapi ia bukan milikku malah menggapainya pun tak termampu sama seperti cinta pada dia hanya mampu ku luahkan tidak dapat ku gapai hatinya kerna ia jauh jauh dari genggaman hati ini tidak diterima kecewa....

aku tak takut aku tak gentar hadapi dunia ini cuma yg aku perlukan skrg ini perancangan yg rapi dan teliti ya, aku harus meranang untuk berjaya jika tidak kegagalan yg akan menanti keberanian ini apa pun yg akan jadi akan aku sabar tempuhi Tuhan ada di sisi panduan ada nabi beri mengapa perlu rasa takut sendiri lebih baik berani mati membuat sesuatu perkara drpd takut sendiri tanpa lakukan apa2 paling tidak akan nampak apa hasilnya nanti drpd diam takut sahaja sendiri..

sampai bila pece?

i have a feeling for u..and this feeling is love..sadly, i'm not ready yet..to tell u..that i'm in love with u..

kotornya hati bila diri ini sombong sendiri tak sedar itu tanda kotornya hati kotornya hati penuh dosa yg tak terperi gusar tiada henti walau tiada masalah di sisi ketenangan hanya mimpi ituah tanda kotornya hati kotornya hati bila rasa bagus semua sekali org lain kurg tak bererti yg lebih hanya diri sendiri itulah kotornya hati kotornya hati bila amal baik dilengah-lengahkan lagi malahan dibenci amalan buruk jadi diri peneman hidup sampai mati tanda kotornya hati kotornya hati amal buruk sentiasa di hati seolah syurga bukan lagi yg diimpi seolah neraka juga tempat yg dicari tanda kotor hati insaflah wahai diri dunia ini tiada erti akhirat jua tempat kekal abadi

pada wajahku terukir segala kerut dosa hilang cahaya tiada serinya itulah kesan2 dosa dosa yg terpalit 2009 shg 2013 4 tahun bergelumang dgn dosa dosa yg scra sedar dan sengaja hanya mereka yg bodoh shja yg mengejar pintu neraka itulah mereka yg byk melakukan dosa sdgkn neraka itu perit bahananya sakit yg tiada bayangnya bodoh bodoh bagi mereka yg sengaja berbuat dosa. istighfarlah wahai diri taubatlah wahai hati aku merayu padamu wahai diri hentikanlah segala dosa2mu ini. Please.

Haram itu tak boleh indah sudah Tuhan jadikan kerna yang haram itu yang haram itu tak kena dgn fitrahmu bawa mudarat pada manusia tapi hairan engkau suka yang haram haram itu dosa ingkar pada Pencipta mengapa tidak kau ikut shj suruhannya mengapa dipilih jalan kemungkaran mungkar bersama syaitan yg pasti mahukan teman untuknya ke jahannam bukankah syurga yg kau mahukan ingatlah jika yang haram, halal bagimu yang dosa jadi biasa pasti hidupmu sengsara.. insaflah wahai manusia..

Titis air mata yang jatuh berlinang ini hanya mampu kurangkan rasa pedih di hati benar tapi ia belum tentu mampu memadam segala dosa2 lalu dosa ingkar pada arahan Tuhan dosa dgn manusia mulut bicara tanpa rasa manusia punya hati kotornya diri ini hingga gelapnya jiwa luar dlm sama tiada bandingnya apa ini yang kau katakan darjat sebagai hamba mata tidak kau jaga mulut tidak kau pelihara hati gelap tanpa cahaya apa yang kau lihat hanya masa depan yg kelam pekat apa yg kau rasa sedang mata hatimu buta apa yang kau ada hanya dosa yang bertimba-timba tidakkah kau rasa malu mengulang membuat dosa2 yang lalu hanya mereka yang angkuh membiar diri menjadi lusuh hati jadi keruh bertaubatlah wahai insan.

aku mencari tercari-cari jalan jalan keluar untuk semua semua masalah ini setiap hari aku mencuba setiap waktu aku terus mencuba setiap kalinya aku tewas tiap kali itu juga aku terus mencuba tiap kali aku jatuh tiap kali juga aku terus lagi mencuba tiap kali juga terjadi perkara yang sama rasa yang terbuku di hati tak siapa yang ketahui aku hanya mampu menyepi sendiri dgn masalah hati yg hanya ku temui jalan mati Ya Allah, bantulah hambaMu ini ku tahu banyak dosaku tapi bukan ini yang ku mahu yang ku mahu redha, kasih sayang dan cintaMu Ya Allah.. ampunilah dosa2ku

Control U urself are stronger than ur emotion.. Please.

tumpas jua akhirnya damn.....!!!!!

Please don't do this to urself remember u only get this once a life don't make urself upset n dissapointed please.

Recently, I just make friend with a chinese girl for me, she's perfect the way she talk chatting with her actually kind of interesting she has so many ideas she like about museums, history and also very good in art n culture I always said to her that she is multi-talented really, she's good I think I fall for her but, I know this feeling isn't possible I'm malay n she's chinese how can.. btw, it was really nice to meet u caren.. hope we can see each other again until we meet again eh..

I promise will change. This thing will never happen again. Totally.

I'm coming up only to hold you under I'm coming up only to show you wrong And to know you is hard we wonder To know you all wrong we were Really too late to call So we wait for morning to wake you That's all we got to know me as hardly golden Is to know me all wrong, they were At every occasion I'll be ready for the funeral Every occasion, once more, it's called the funeral Every occasion, know I'm ready for the funeral At every occasion, oh, one billion day funeral I'm coming up only to show you down For I'm coming up only to show you wrong To the outside the dead leaves, they're on the lawn Before they died, had trees to hang their hope And every occasion I'll be ready for the funeral And every occasion once more It's called the funeral And every occasion Oh, I'm ready for the funeral Every occasion Of one billion day funeral  I'm coming up only to pull you under I...

this thing is bullshit Why? It's not even 2 am why this thing happened? arghhhahhhhhhhhhh...!!!!!!!!!

and yes..I did it again that thing lahh.. I don't know dear future me please be remind if the clock shows 2 am in the morning just go to sleep eh otherwise bad thing will happen to u please.

done watching this 3..The Conjuring..best movie ever..for me lah..haha

assalamualaikum readers! this is going to be my last semester here actually hmm but thing here is already crazy u know I don't have enough money lah to pay my fees for this semester my PT has been hold for this semester this is due to my worst result last year these really challenge me lah I need to find work or job to do in order to get enough money even want to eat also need money what currently, i'm on diet just buy some food that I really need only urgh very suffer but the best thing happen to me instead u know I starting to appreciate a very little thing around me starting to look for opportunity to get free food like refreshments after program and so on, and this for me is good actually when u starting to appreciate all things around u it's good really good so, for those people who feels that they have enough money or rich enough to live remember this ur properties or money won't last forever or ur easiness won't remain forever so,...

still working on my latest writing on puisi 3 bahasa quite tough I also need to practice for my percussion show anyway, yesterday I feel so annoyed with this girl lah she already engaged but still she wanna text me I don't feel right and comfort boot this why she can't understand just go on la with ur life don't bother me.. urgghh..

Settle down with me Cover me up Cuddle me in Lie down with me And hold me in your arms And your heart's against my chest, your lips pressed to my neck I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet And with a feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now Kiss me like you wanna be loved You wanna be loved You wanna be loved This feels like falling in love Falling in love We're falling in love Settle down with me And I'll be your safety You'll be my lady I was made to keep your body warm But I'm cold as the wind blows so hold me in your arms Oh no My heart's against your chest, your lips pressed to my neck I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet And with this feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now Kiss me like you wanna be loved You wanna be loved You wanna be loved This feels like falling in love Falling in love We're falling in love Yeah I've been feeling everything From hate to love From love to lust From ...

I'm going back today. to my hometown my house. hope everything will be okay. hope so.

I did it again. This. All of it. Twice. Bullshit. When can I control it? Have to take bath again.

Ku coba ungkap tabir ini Kisah antara kau dan aku Terpisahkan oleh ruang dan waktu Menyudutkanmu meninggalkanku Ku merasa tlah kehilangan Cintamu yang tlah lama hilang Kau pergi jauh karena salahku Yang tak pernah menganggap kamu ada Asmara memisahkan kita Mengingatkanku pada dirimu Gelora mengingatkanku Bahwa cintamu tlah merasuk jantungku Sejujurnya ku tak bisa Hidup tanpa ada kamu aku gila Seandainya kamu bisa Mengulang kembali lagi cinta kita Takkan ku sia-siakan kamu lagi. Asmara memisahkan kita Mengingatkanku pada dirimu Gelora mengingatkanku Bahwa cintamu tlah merasuk jantungku Sejujurnya ku tak bisa Hidup tanpa ada kamu aku gila Seandainya kamu bisa Mengulang kembali lagi cinta kita Sejujurnya ku tak bisa Hidup tanpa ada kamu aku gila Takkan ku sia-siakan kamu lagi.

Hari ni..I mean tadi siang.. my ex..my first love da btunang I still love her but I can't do that.. arghhh mental lah aku neh.. its better for me to stop lovin her FOREVER.

Mimpi aku mimpi tadi tengahari aku tidur aku mimpi mimpi permulaan untuk sebuah kisah kisah hantu mungkin pasal motor tapi aku tak tahu kenapa baru permulaan tapi aku seolah dapat merasa benda itu betul jadi lepas aku terjaga entahlah elok aku g solat lepas tu g bilik ustaz ada oral test hari ni hmmmph..

Bodoh aku bodoh nafsu diikut cubalah tahan belajar didik nafsu jgn ikutkan nafsu tu sgt bodoh bodoh pada aku yg ikut nafsu nafsu serakah pantang nampak yg enak yg seksi yg bunting yg panas-panas gitu inilah masalah aku kerap melakukan itu bukan ingin lucah tapi ini masalah aku siapa boleh tolong aku?!!!! aku tak mahu semua ini tolonglah jiwa kecilku sering meronta habis rugilah segala amalanku.. mata yg selalu lihat kalam Tuhan telinga yg selalu dgar zikir, takbir tangan dan kaki yg bsedekah dan pergi ke masjid berubah menjadi tangan dan kaki yg mencapai benda2 itu telinga yang mendengar benda itu mata yang melihat benda itu aku tak mahu aku tak mahu aku tak mahu oh Tuhan, bantulah aku.. aku sering tewas dek nafsu yg menjadi nafsi..

aku nak terberak haha tak tahan kalo post kt fb, org marah kalo twitter pun sama gak ak saje post kt cni.. merapu kan.. ok serius ak nk terberak..

Today, I see u again at the corner of the class I couldn't say anything or mention anything Just went away from u.. I have feeling for U and this feeling is love.. I'm scared to tell U this feeling which I already keep it for a very long time.. I'm afraid that I'll lose U like I lose other person before.. don't worry, that is just my past now I'm alone seeing U everyday is enough for me.. I'm scared that Allah will punish me if I make any relationship outside of His way the only way that U can feel my love is true marriage.. I don't know Allah's plan for me but at least I have a chance to make it.. the rest, I'll leave it to Allah.. if we cannot make it together I hope that u'll meet a better person.. and I also hope that I'll meet a better person too.. this is my pray for you and this feeling is love...

owh Allah..I'm tired.. today really tired.. but not only today almost everyday I'm tired of ths world.. what should I do? owh Allah..never leave me alone never leave me.. I need you..in everyday of my life in every second of my breath.. please don't leave me Allah..

hanya satu yg tahu sedih itu apa.. hati.... aku biasa bsendirian tetapi Tuhan tetap kurniakan aku kawan agar hidupku ini berteman mbuatku ceria kala duka mbuatku tertawa kala hidup tak bmaya mbuatku gembira kala sedih mjadi peneman kala pedih biarku putus cinta dgn wanita tp ku xsgup putus hubungan dgn kawan biar tkadang rasa meluat dgn karenahnya tapi itulah yg mbuatkn kawan istimewa dlm hidup kita hari ini seorang lg kawan akn pergi meninggalkan aku pergi bhijrah memulakan hidup baru aku mula rasa sedih setelah sekian lama ku xpnah sedih begini semoga ku bjaya capai impian dan cita2mu kawanku biarpun luahan ini pasti tidak dapt kau baca dan tahu cukuplah sekadar Tuhan mberkati hidupmu kawanku dunia dn akhirat.. p/s gmbr skadar hiasan..nk cari gmbr yg feeling lonely, ini je yg jumpa..btw, I'm not gay..ok?hehe

I wanna ask her but right now, I'm not sure its a good time or not although she is one year older than me.. urghhh..don't know what to do this feeling is ridiculous..

arghh just played only one game tonight after made several saves I juz got injured again hampehh.. leg injury..maybe its my muscle suspected to be out for at least one week next game will be on 30th of July..wish me luck la then..haha

I love her and I do love her.. but she's already being with somebody else I know that and I realize that this love will never be a reality..

its been 5 days since I created this blog..!! wow..alhamdulillah.. actually ths blog will benefit me n others bcoz, here is the only place I can talk about my true feeling.. outside, people may see me as a very cheerful person but the feeling inside, people may not know if they know my true feeling I dont think they will ever be friend with me.. anyhow, at least I'm feeling better now bcoz I can take out all from my heart and put it here :-) lastly, don't forget.. life is tough..only the tough one can survive..assalamualaikum

dengan lafaz bismillah aku mulakan tulisan ini biarpun post pertama aku terlupa jelas menunjukkan diriku yg sering alpa maafkan aku Tuhan maafkan aku terlalu banyak dosa-dosaku yang entah akan diampunkan ataupun tidak rukun islamku semakin hari semakin tidak sempurna jadinya makin hari makin teruk jadinya solat entah ke mana puasa sudah 3 hari sangkut di pertengahannya akibat tak tertahan nafsu yg bergelojak hanya penyesalan yang memenuhi ruang kepala aku tahu ia salah tapi aku tetap tunduk dgn nafsu syaitan dlm diri apakah bala ini Ya Allah.. aku buntu buntu mengejar cintaMu Tuhan impianku untuk bertemu dgnMu di akhirat kelak mungkin hanya anganku semata..

ku bakal curahkan segala isi hatiku di sini kerna bagiku tiada insan yang memahami erti penderitaan yang ku harungi ketika ini bacalah tatapilah ia moga dapat dijadikan teladan dan pengajaran bagi mereka yang masih terang mata hatinya..